


twin reflections of kindred spirits

by devonthemenace



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Baby Isak, Homophobia, M/M, Religion, Soulmate AU, isak's mom is in this, rating will change maybe, some happy pining isak, some sad isak, we got every kind of isak around here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-09-30 16:01:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10166612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devonthemenace/pseuds/devonthemenace
Summary: evak soulmate au. not much more to it than that."From the moment he was born, his mother had always kept him bundled all the way up to his neck, swaddled in just such a way that no one would ever see the bright blue triangle that sat below his jaw, emblazoned in gold lettering with the name of his soulmate."





	1. blue & gold

**Author's Note:**

> rules of this au are:  
> you're born with a shape and the name of your soulmate on your body, isak comes out to jonas in second year, even has two moms and a little sister, and isak's mother is more religious than in the show and is homophobic.

There's this old myth about soulmarks. It says that people used to be stuck together with their soulmates. They say that in those days, people didn't want for anything. Because we had our soulmates with us for our whole lives, we didn't need anything else. Then, one day, the gods got jealous of their love and split them all apart, doomed to spend the rest of their lives trying to find each other. Supposedly, the spot where your mark is is the spot you and your soulmate would have been attached. Isak is pretty pissed at his soulmate then, if that’s true, for wanting to be attached to him in such a stupid place as his neck.

The inherent problem with Isak’s mark being on his neck was that it made it a lot harder to hide. From the moment he was born, his mother had always kept him bundled all the way up to his neck, swaddled in just such a way that no one would ever see the bright blue triangle that sat below his jaw, emblazoned in gold lettering with the name of his soulmate.

He remembers the day he found out what soulmates were. They're supposed to teach you in the second grade. His teacher told him all about how the name on your mark is the name of the person you would spend your whole life with, the person who would love you more than anyone else. He went home that day and stared at his neck in awe for hours until his mother caught him, going over the name in his head.

Even Bech Næsheim.

Even Bech Næsheim.

Even Bech Næsheim.

He tried to ask his parents about it that day.

“Mama?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Is… Is papa your soulmate?” She smiled, though there was a tense sort of sadness behind it.

“Yes, he is.” She pulled up her sleeve to show him her mark, a deep burgundy hexagon with his father's name in shining white calligraphy.

“And… your soulmate is supposed to make you happy, right? Happier than anything else?”

“That's right.” He took a long pause, trying to be careful with choosing his next words.

“The other kids at school don't hide their marks.” His mother didn't say anything back, so he kept talking. “Why… Why do I have to hide mine?”

“Because, sweetie… Do you remember Sunday school?” He nodded. “And do you remember how the Old Testament is full of all sorts of rules?” Another nod. “Well, in one of those rules, it says that… That boys shouldn't marry other boys. It says that to love another boy like you would love a girl is an abomination.”

“What’s an abomination?”

“Something that's very very bad, Isak.”

“Oh. Do you… Do you think I’m very very bad?”

“No, sweetheart. Of course not. Sometimes, God gives us challenges, so that we can overcome them to prove our love for Him. You aren't bad for having another boy’s name on your mark, it’s just… One of those challenges. But, if other people see your mark, they might not understand that. Do you get what I’m saying?”

“So… Will I ever meet Even?”

“Yes, honey. You will.”

“I just can't marry him?”

“No. You can't.”

“And will I… Will I love him anyway? Even though I can't marry him?”

“No,” she said, eyes full of tears threatening to spill. “I believe you won't. I think you're stronger than that.” That was the first time Isak ever realised that his parents could lie to him.

As he got older, it started getting harder and harder to cover up his mark. People were nosy, always asking him about it and why he would bother trying to hide it. He told them it was because it was private, that as long as he knew who his soulmate was, it didn't matter. It didn't stop people from wondering, though. The only person that never cared was Jonas. Maybe that's why Isak felt so drawn to him.

He tried as hard as he could to convince himself his feelings for Jonas were just friendly. If his heart seemed to skip a beat every time they made direct eye contact, it was just because he was happy to have such an understanding best friend. If his stomach sank with the weight of all the acid inside him from the sight of him and Eva kissing, it was just because he was upset he hadn't found a nice girl of his own. And if, hypothetically speaking, his mind wandered a little too often to the curve of Jonas’ back or the taught muscles beneath the skin of his thighs, well, that was just a result of too much time spent together.

Isak had seen Jonas’ mark dozens of times. It was on his back, a pink and gold triangle not unlike his own which read Anna Melgaard. Jonas, in return, had been the only other person besides his parents to see Isak’s. They were sitting in Jonas’ room playing Fifa on a particularly hot day. Isak started to complain about the temperature, and Jonas, thinking nothing of it, told him if he was so hot, he should take off his scarf. He looked at him for a moment, thinking this is my best friend, what have I got to lose?

“I trust you, Jonas.” It was strange, and seemingly out of nowhere.

“Okay, dude.”

“I trust you… Not to make fun of me. And not to tell anyone, even Eva, about my mark. Okay? I don't want anyone knowing what it says.”

“Alright, alright. It isn't my business to tell, anyway.”

And, so, he removed his scarf, and sat staring awkwardly at Jonas, waiting for him to say something. In the end, he decided he couldn't wait.

"Dude. Say something."

"Say what? I don't care. You have another dude's name on your mark. Whatever."

They stayed silent for a while. He wasn't sure what to say. All these years of keeping it secret, hiding a part of him away under the pretense that other people would think he was evil. Yet, here he was telling someone and… Nothing. No concerned look, no angry stare, no promise that the wrath of God would strike him down.

“I…” He willed himself to say something. Anything to deny the truth in the air. I’m not gay, you know. I wouldn't actually do anything with a guy. “I don't hide it because I want to,” is what he ended up on. Something in the atmosphere of the room was demanding the truth from him. Jonas’ understanding stare coaxed him into a sense of safety.

Suddenly, the thing he had harboured inside his head for so long didn't seem so scary.

“Why do you hide it, then? If you don't mind my asking.”

“It’s… My mom. She says that… That people will think I’m bad. That boys who fall in love with other boys are... abominations. She's not a bad person.”

“Okay. As long as you're fine,” he said as though he didn't quite believe him. And that was the end of it. The world didn't cave in. Someone knew he was gay, and they didn't care.

After that conversation, he made the mistake of allowing himself to wonder; what if? What if his mother had been wrong, and him falling in love with Even wouldn't be such a big deal? Surely, if the universe had willed it to happen, it couldn't be so wrong... Right? What if they met soon? What if the second he saw him, the whole world aligned and made sense, and the freckles in his eyes spelled out a roadmap of the future? He wondered what Even might look like. He wondered if he would look anything like Jonas, or like Christoffer. (Isak didn't like to admit it, but it's true that there was once a time in his life that he couldn't imagine anyone more beautiful than the womanizing Penetrators frontman.) 

Once he had told Jonas, it felt like something significant in his life had changed. He now had someone he could actually talk about his soulmate with. Often times, when they would have sleepovers or when Isak would crash at his after a party, his mind would wander to Even before he fell asleep. More often than not, he found himself thinking these things out loud, just because he could.

"Jonas?"

"Yeah, Isak?"

"Do you think... Do you think Even has good taste in music?"

"Sure, Isak."

"I bet he likes N.W.A., and like... Biggie Smalls and... All the good stuff. I bet he likes Kanye. That would be so like him."

"Okay, Isak. Go to sleep."

"I wonder what he looks like. I bet he's handsome. And tall. Like... the perfect height to put my head on his shoulder."

"Look, Isak, I get that you're happy you can finally talk about this with me, so I'm gonna give you twenty minutes. After that, though? You need to let me sleep or I'm gonna kill you."

Isak ended up talking for a whole hour about Even and what he imagined he was like. He talked about what colour his eyes might be, (blue or green, he hopes), and his hair (blonde, but not like... too blonde). He tells Jonas that he hopes he's sweet, and he can play guitar. He hopes he has tattoos, or wears combat boots, or can sing. He goes on listing things for so long it's like he already knows him. Eventually, he can tell Jonas has fallen asleep listening to him.


	2. black & blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> isak meets even and shit kind of hits the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is so short and not entirely good. i kind of felt i just had to get their meeting over with so that i could move on to actual plot stuff. it sort of felt like filler to right so it's not written super well. i promise that the next chapter will actually be substantial.

He had spent so long thinking of Even, imagining what he might look like and how he might act, that by the time they finally met, he felt like he had already known him his whole life. It sounds ridiculous, but the first time they ever locked eyes, he knew. There was a certain kind of energy that filled him, like all of the electricity in the universe had come up through his feet, just to tell him ' _here he is_ '.

His whole chest fluttered. He barely even recognised the boy's mark, a bright blue triangle exactly like his on his neck, which confirmed his suspicions that this really was _the_ boy. He seemed to feel it too, because soon he was walking over to him and his friends. He panicked for a moment, but then he remembered how Jonas had reacted when he'd found out. Surely, Mahdi and Magnus would grant him the same courtesy.

"Hi," the perfect boy began. "Sorry if this is weird but... Is your name Isak Valtersen?"

Isak was too nervous to speak. The boys stared at Even, then at Isak, then back to Even. Magnus seemed to be the first to notice his mark, and thus, was the first to speak.

"Wait, dude, the fuck? Is he your soulmate? Nice job, man, he's hot."

That broke the awkward tension, and as the other boys were laughing, Isak's first instinct was to raise his hand to unzip the collar of the sweatshirt that had been covering his mark. He reached the same hand out an offered it to Even.

"I guess you're Even, then?"

After that, they were inseperable. They had to spend all of their time at Even's, and Isak had had to tell his mother he was going to Jonas', but they made it work. Even's mother Karoline and his _other_ mother Anita were always accomodating, often times leaving the house altogether with his little sister Julie to give the boys some space. Mostly, they just spent their days laid out in Even's bed, talking about movies, kissing, drinking tea. Just enjoying each other's company. Other nights, Julie insisted the boys colour and play dolls with her. Even was such a good big brother, and it warmed Isak's heart to see how good his soulmate was with children. He never really reaised he wanted kids until he saw Even with one.

On nights Isak didn't go to Even's, they spent most of their time texting. Though it illicited a bit of teasing from the other boys, they didn't mind. They all understood that the first little bit of time you spend with your soulmate is important, and that people can easily get wrapped up in it.  
Between time with Even and time with his friends, Isak was rarely if ever at home. This was a good thing, in his opinion, because things with his parents had gotten almost out of hand. His mother's schizophrenia was getting worse with every passing day. Some nights, when Isak was home, he would hear her screams and cries from upstairs all the way in his basement bedroom. She could hardly do anything anymore. Even things as simple as washing the dishes left her in a frenzied state, having visions from God and shattering the cereal bowls. His father was trying, he knew that, but there was something in the pit of his stomach, something acidic and painful, that told him he wasn't trying hard enough. He could see him giving up a little bit more every day. He tried his best not to talk about any of this with Even- he thought 2 weeks into the relationship would be two early to be dumping all his baggage on the poor kid- but it had all ended up tumbling out of him anyway. He had cried and Even had held him, whispering sweet nothings and promises into his ears.

"I'm glad you feel like you can share this with me. I really like you. You know that, right?" Isak nods. "Good. There's... something I should tell you, too, since we're already being serious."

Even tells him that he has bipolar disorder. Isak doesn't know much about it, only what he's heard from TV and what Magnus has said about his mother. Even explains it to him, though, and tells him that he's on medication for it, even though it doesn't always help. He tells him about his ex-girlfriend, Sonja, who had helped him out with it before they split up. Soon enough, Even was crying too. The two of them just laid there, holding each other and revelling in the feeling of finally having someone to talk to until Isak had to leave.

Inevitably, people around the school had found out about their relationship, especially since Isak had decided to stop hiding his mark. The reaction from his peers was... Underwhelming. Save for a few odd stares from boys, and a few awkward conversations with girls, no one really seemed to care. Isak felt free. He felt good. He felt... happy.

His happiness, however, was short lived. One night, when Even was busy with his family and the boys had no pre-drinks to go to, Isak had stayed home and spent the night with his parents. His mother had seemed off that day, as though something was weighing particularly heavily on her mind. He thought nothing of it. At the end of the night, he texted Even a quick goodnight and fell asleep with his phone on his bedside table.

In hindsight, he shouldn't have left it there. Should have put a password on it. Should have done  _something_ to prevent it.

He awoke at 3 o'clock the next morning to find his mother, in his room, holding it and crying.


	3. red & white

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit REALLY hits the fan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit short, sorry for the long wait! i'll try to get back to regular updating, i just didnt want to rush this one.

On the night in question, Marianne Valtersen had received a message from God. She had been watching television when it happened. Something had come on, a documentary on her favourite Christian Information channel about soulmarks and how they all fit in to God’s plan. It had come up, a segment about homosexuals and their, as it said, unnatural urges. Her mind had quickly wandered to thoughts of her son. She wondered how he was getting on with his own issues. In times like these, she felt compelled to open her Bible. Her hands lead her to Psalms 84:12.  _ LORD Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you.  _ Trust. She breathed a sigh of relief. Trust. She should trust her son. Or… she couldn't trust him. She reread it, and reread it again. She reread until she had memorized the words, and yet the uneasy feeling in her stomach had not been quelled. She would talk to him. That was right. She would go up to his room and speak to him.

 

By the time she reached her son’s room, he was sleeping. She took a moment to look at his face, soft and vulnerable in slumber. She noticed his cell phone on the table next to his bed. Something inside her told her to take it, to calm her worries by finding the truth. As though she had willed it, it buzzed to life. A text. The next few moments between the buzz and the realization are a blur. The phone is heavy in her hand.

 

_ Good-night, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. _

 

_ parting is such sweet sorrow, and all that. _

 

_ (p.s. you're cute) _

 

She didn't need to read the name to know who it was from. She did anyway. The top of the screen read  _ “romeo” _ , and she couldn't help but to weep.

 

“...Mama?” She heard him speak before she saw him move. “Mama, I… I swear it isn't-”

 

“What I think it is? What else could it be, Isak? I told you! I told you so many times! The Lord doesn't stand for… For this kind of… Perversion of nature!”

 

“Perversion of nature? Mama, I was  _ born  _ with his name on my neck! I mean… God wouldn't have made us soulmates if he wasn't okay with it, would he?”

 

“He would! The Lord works in mysterious ways, Isak. We’ve been over this. Divine tests exist as a way to prove your loyalty to Him. You've been tested and you've failed. I thought I raised you better than this.”

 

“This isn't your fault. It isn't anyone’s fault. Even and I, we… We just  _ get _ each other. We…”

 

“What, you think you  _ love  _ each other? Isak, you're 17 years old. You don't know what love is. The only love you need in your life is the love of Christ.”

 

They both stay silent for a while. Isak stands shaking, tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he waits for his mother to say something else,  _ anything _ else.

 

In hindsight, he thinks, he wishes he hadn't have used the word anything.

 

“You have to make a choice, Isak. I won't have heathens under my roof. You can either stay in the light of God or find somewhere else to live. It's this boy or the Lord- you can't have both. I just pray you make the right decision.”

 

With that, she leaves Isak alone in his room to contemplate the rest of his life. Even is his  _ soulmate _ . Can he really put him above his mother? But what else can he really do? Even if he runs away from him, goes off and marries some girl… The weight of that secret, the hole where that pure feeling once was… It would eat away at him.

 

For the next three hours, Isak numbly goes through his belongings, packing what he can't live without. He doesn't know where to start. Doesn't know how to even begin folding away his whole life into suitcases.

 

He can only think of one person to call.

 

“Isak? It’s six in the morning. What's wrong?”

 

“Jonas… It’s my mom. She- I don't know. She found out. About Even. She went crazy, she kicked me out. I don't have any fucking clue what to do.”

  
“Shit, that's heavy. Are you alright? Stupid question, obviously you aren't.” He pauses, thinking. “Okay. I think I know what to do. Do you remember Noora, Eva’s friend? Well, she lives with this guy, Eskild. It’s sort of like a… Shelter type situation. All of them are in the same sort of situation as you. I can see if Eva will give me his number.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eskild, linn and noora next chapter!!!

**Author's Note:**

> this first chapter is just some backstory and set up, let's pray i actually update this


End file.
